About a year ago I wrote the first issue of The Narrative newsletter. I wrote about birthdays, and mine in particular. I spoke about how beautiful it is to be reminded that I am loved, how awkward it can be to receive attention, how stupid it is that we don't love each other out loud on any other day, and how necessary it is to let people love you. I also spoke about a song by Billy Joel called Vienna. I promised to talk about it again at a later stage and here the later stage has come. This won't be the last I speak of this wonderful song but I want us to start here.
Vienna
Vienna is a song written by Billy Joel. If you haven't heard of Billy Joel already, then I have one question for you: How does it feel to live life for so long without knowing what GOOD MUSIC sounds like?
Vienna was a song featured on his 1977 album The Stranger. Mr. Joel even mentioned how it was one of his two favourite songs, along with "Summer, Highland Falls." And even though it's one of his favourites, it never actually came out as a single from his 1977 album. Even so, it's a universally loved song and I need to see Billy Joel perform it live at least once in my life. It's one of my favourite songs of all time by any artist in any genre. If you haven't already heard it, then GO LISTEN TO IT NOW :
Short Background
Mr. Joel wrote the song after seeing how the elderly in Vienna (the capital of Austria) were still treated with love and respect and were still seen as useful in their old age. He saw them sweeping the streets and doing all sorts of things. It was amazing for him to see so many people who still felt useful to the world and their families. They weren't forced to lie around acting their age, they actually had agency and control over their lives, even as old as they were. A lot of retirees move to Vienna as well in their old age. Joel's father moved there after he retired. The concept of the old still being seen as valuable intrigued Joel so much that he wrote the song that calmed so much of the anxiety that plagued thoughts of my future.
What it Means to Me
He starts the song by singing:
Slow down you crazy child, You're so ambitious for a juvenile. But then if you're so smart tell me, Why are you still so afraid?
The whole song consists of him singing about how Vienna waits for us. As someone who has dealt with anxiety for a long time, it was really comforting to hear a song reminding me that it was okay to take a break, to not get so worked up over the ticking of time, and to just disappear to clear my head.
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out. You got so much to do and only so many hours in a day.
Hustle culture has taught us to keep working until we reach a breakthrough. And I think it's important to work hard and be ambitious, but I think it's also important to take a deep breath and remember that the world won't stop turning if you miss a deadline, don't perform on a project, or just take a lazy day.
Just Exist
Pressure from parents, friends, lecturers, bosses, and even ourselves can press us and push us from side to side, but it's OKAY to take a break, and oftentimes even necessary. Vienna isn't a song telling you to go light some scented candles and take a bubble bath, it's a song that reminds you that you have time. You're not in trouble, you're not behind, you still have someone waiting for you. Vienna is a song to remind you to take a deep breath and just exist. To be. It's okay to JUST BE.
I have an article coming up titled along the lines of "Why Self-help is stupid." And I know I literally run a self-improvement blog, so maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot, but so many of us forget to enjoy the fruits of our productivity and discipline. Productivity and discipline allow you to do what needs to be done and what you want to do all in time to focus on what really matters. And what matters is your relationships, your friendships, your body, and all the other things that make life truly living for. We use self-improvement to buy back our time, our freedom, our autonomy, so we can spend it on these intangible things. Love, beauty, friendship, belonging; these intangible things are the spice of life, these things that we cannot touch are the things we need to hold closest to us.
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
— Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society
Self-improvement for the sake of self-improvement is pointless. Self-improvement makes a terrible god, a terrible idol, a terrible object of worship. Work on one's self CANNOT and MUST NOT terminate on itself. Find something worth improving for, and then improve to enjoy it guilt-free.
Slow down you crazy child, take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while. It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two. When will you realize… Vienna waits for you?
Let go for a few. Breathe. Put away the journal, the morning routine, and just exist.
Contribute a Verse
To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be
—Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society
Steve Jobs spoke about wanting to put a dent in the universe, and that is quite the noble pursuit, but to gain the whole world and lose your soul doesn't seem like a good trade of. Contribute a verse to this play called life, but it's okay if not everybody hears it.
On Infinity
There's this scene in the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower, where the main characters drive through a tunnel in the middle of the night, and David Bowie's song 'Heroes' is blaring through the car radio. One of the characters, Sam (played by Emma Watson), is standing up on the back of their bakkie/truck with her arms out in the air all king of the world style. The car drives through the night and pierces through the tunnel. The tunnel is illuminated on the inside. The song bounces off the tunnel walls and reverberates throughout. It's so beautiful. The main character, Charlie (played by Logan Lerman), is sitting in front just experiencing the moment when the character Patrick, (played Ezra Miller), who's driving asks him about what he's thinking, to which he replies, " I feel infinite."
It's that feeling of belonging, of relief, of love, of freedom, that makes this one of my favourite movies. Stephen Chbosky wrote the book and I'm glad he got to bring it to life. I'm happy he got to write the screenplay and direct the movie itself.
Closing Thoughts…
It's essential to experience moments of infinity for ourselves. To feel unstoppable, and loved, and seen, and calm but excited. Vienna reminds me to take a deep breath when I need it. I hope this reminded you to breathe. So breathe. See you later.
Vienna waits for you.
Some Unsolicited Advice:
Disconnect - Put down your social media and phone for a while. Trust me. It helps.
Rest - Rest and recovery help you to maintain your growth over time.
Take Your Time - You're not late to the party. And even if you are, there's still music playing, so dance!
Take a Break - Relax. The universe will still be intact when you return.
